Ok. Not quite a year later....

Ariana had her second Gotcha day last Sunday. I can't believe my life has been blessed with my angel two years already. She is the most amazing miracle ever and it's shocking how often I look in her eyes or watch her just exist and think that to myself. When you give birth to a child, you often look at them with wonder that such a miracle could be. I wasn't sure how that would translate with adoption. For me, I have a whole 'nother kind of wonder. Having felt this compulsion since before I was even a teenager I look at her with the wonder of God. I look at her and think, this is my reward for being faithful to the message he burned on my heart so long ago. This is the wonder he had in store for me. The ache. The longing. This is why he put all that there. So I wouldn't miss out on her. I can't imagine not getting to experience all that makes Ariana so totally amazing. Her silly voice. Her talking to her stuffed animals. Her glee with a new pair of shoes. Her joy over anything we buy her. "You bought this for me?!" Her love and compassion for our dog, Banjo. The world is her gift. She sees everything as such pure pleasure. Ariana lights up a room. Wherever she goes everyone knows who she is and all the moms of the boys want her to marry their sons. She is just such a joy. Who am I to be so blessed to share in her light?

So, here are a couple of photos. But make sure you look over to the left. Notice the first Gotcha day photo in the pink dress in front of the Fryazino orphanage August 22, 2008. Then last year we put the same dress on her and got a picture outside. This year we had let the dress down, lengthening it about an inch and a half. I threw it on her after her bath at bed time just to get the shot on the actual day. I can't believe I was able to get it on her. It blows my mind to see how she has changed!

First day back at her Exceptional Needs Pre K class at the local Elementary school:

Today was her first ballet/tap class. I am unashamedly re-living through my daughter!

St Thomas Freshmen win 35-0

Corbin had his first game at St. Thomas Aquinas tonight. He did great!

Corbin is number 73! offensive right guard

Here is his cheering section!

Ariana wasn't so into my bow, but Aidan got into the spirit!
I had a great time making Ariana a special outfit for her brother's game!

OK, she wasn't into the game too much...

But number 73 rocked the house! Go Corbin!!!

The famous A!!

Home of the national champions!!

This was how we kept them from going up and down the bleachers.. Aquinas fans like to watch. The Freshman game was actually almost full. CRAZY.


We had a great time. Honestly the score could have been reversed and Corbin could have never touched the field and we would have loved every second. What a great memory.

Update Time

After a short break, I managed to grab some photos off my computer and create a smile box slide show. As usual it is primarily Aidan and Ariana. My teenagers are photo phobic.

Corbin is now in full swing at high school. He is playing freshman football and might start tonight at his first game. Not that we care one way or the other. We are just so incredibly proud of him for the effort he is putting forth. St. Thomas' Varsity is the current National Champion and ranked #1 for this season. They are REALLY REALLY good. Corbin has played football for the last 4 years, but this year he climbed in the car the first day and said, "I quit." In fact 40 kids did quit that first day, but Corbin stuck in there. I really believe that learning perseverance is a gift in itself. A great deal of self respect is born out of pushing through especially when you may never touch the field. But Corbin has also been rewarded with the gift of friendship, team spirit, and a new respect for physical fitness. You have to end the day a little more humble than you began it when you think you are a fit teenage boy and your coach demonstrates otherwise. The other day Corbin was talking about how hard holding a squat for ten minutes used to be and how it is so much easier now. I still can't get him to say anything good about an up-down though.
He is learning the lay of the land in a Catholic School. For instance, if you leave your HW in your locker it is still a zero an hour later. There isn't a lot of latitude - get it together or get out.
Corbin and Collin are both taking Catholic education classes this year. Corbin will be done this Easter where as Collin will do the traditional 2 year program. I'm still not ready to personally take any steps toward becoming a Catholic, but I am thrilled for my boys.

Collin is in the 6th grade and has officially started Middle School. We are having our first public school experience. He is taking 8th grade Pre Algebra and doing great with a 97 right now. All his other classes are Advanced Placement and he has grades from 99 to 101. Falcon Middle School has the highest cumulative test scores in the state on the FCAT. This school is the best that the state has to offer. Collin has so much to be proud of. He has become quite the book worm. I think he has read at least 10 books since school started. His new series is the James Patterson one for teens. In so many ways he is Ian's little clone- a Big heart, passion for reading and school just seems to be so simple for him. (must be nice). He refuses to talk about private schools while Falcon starts at 9:30 and gets out at 4. He is in heaven sleeping until 8:00 each morning and still having free time before the bus.

Aidan is actually spending less time at school this year. Last year Aidan was going full time- because I was working. This year he goes all day T/Th and 3 hours MWF. For the first time he is expressing curiosity about letters. I am trying to spend time each day helping him with readiness skills. God Bless all those who home school. It is so incredibly hard for me to force myself to sit and work when I can see so many chores that need to be done. I am so easily distracted. At least for now, working with him is a "break". PK/K is MY curriculum- the stuff I love to do. It is FUN. Sad to say, contractions, Florida History, the scientific method... yuck. I am glad someone else finds it all facinating.

Ariana is in speech twice a week and OT twice a week. We are also taking gymnastics together and we have joined a play group. She recently had her 1 year home well check and I can't say it went "well" by my standards. She weighed in at 20.5 lbs. The same as she weighed last year. She was stuck with a "failure to thrive" label and will be seeing some specialists...a neurologist, a gastrologist and an endocrinologist. We are waiting to hear the dates as the pediatrician is setting all the appointments up for us apparently. (Isn't that weird?) Ariana did grow this year. I haven't pulled out the memory box to see how much but I can look at her photos (below) and see how much she has grown. Maybe all of the calories are going into height and nothing is left for weight. Although I have been hemming and hawing about her weight all year- expressing concerns and having eyes rolled at me, I have to say "she LOOKS healthy". I see muscles on her. I see her move with more grace and ease than before. I see better coloring and better posture. She hasn't been a sickly kid, in fact Aidan is the one with a constant green goopy nose, not Ana. She doesn't seem extrodinarily sleepy or listless. She seems to hold her own keeping up with her peers. My guess is that we won't find anything but piece of mind after seeing all the doctors.

Ian still loves FPL, Miami and being at home so much more. He would prefer to sleep an extra hour, but he enjoys spending the mornings with Corbin and getting him to the bus.
He has been in charge of putting the little ones to sleep at night- by then I really need a little people break. Lately this means he reads to them, tucks Ariana in and then goes to lay down next to Aidan until he falls asleep... mean while, Ariana sneaks out of bed and charms her way into mine while I read or watch TV. She has learned that whining gets a quick pass right back to her bedroom while cute and adorable gets extra mommy time until daddy returns to discover my treachery.
Converting her crib into a day bead has opened a whole new world to her. Talk about sneaky and wise.... during nap time Sista will sneak out of bed, close her door, go into the playroom, shut the doors and play quietly... it didn't take her long to figure out if she came and found me I would put her back in bed, and loud noises would be her undoing too.. so she is stealth.

As far as I am concerned, I thought being home would mean I got everything done. HAH!!! I still feel like I am coming up short all the time. The house is never clean enough, there are always errands to run, appointments to make and keep, weeds to pull. The laundry never ends and no matter how much time I sit and talk or play with my kids, I always feel like it isn't enough. And, that is why my blog just isn't what it used to be. But, I'm not totally ready to give it up just yet.

photos: then and now

Then...

Above are 2 photos taken in Fryazino, Russia on August 22nd 2008. This was taken right before my mother and I carried our angel, Ariana Elle, out the gates and into our family.

Now....

The above 2 photos were taken August 22, 2009

1st year anniversary of our Gotcha Day

I really just wanted to put her in the same dress and take a photo a year later to compare the pictures. Both of these photos are current. She turns 3 in a month. She hasn't actually gained much weight, a pound or two, but she has gotten taller- her feet wouldn't possibly fit into those shoes and last year they fell off when we lifted her up to carry her out. She has LOTS of muscles now-she is very tone, but she doesn't have the toddler chunkyness... she looks like a little gymnast or dancer with all the curves from her muscles... a far cry from muscle dystonia.. and do you think she has gotten some sun down here in Fla??? bye bye rickets!

Gotcha 1 year ago today!

I think I was around 9 years old when the family across the street (mom/dad/2sons) adopted a little girl through their church: Autumn. From that moment on I told my family and friends I wanted to adopt from China some day.. ok, China wouldn't have me. I am too fat, and quite honestly by the time we hit the front of the line we would have been too old..God put us on the path to Fryazino instead. It wasn't what I expected, but I would have been to scared to ask for everything I got in my daughter. I see our destiny in the little details. For years I had an uncontrollable desire to have a daughter. Seriously I would say it was unnatural and kind of creepy. Now I think it was there to get me to my daughter, because it is all gone. I always had a special relationship with the curly head girls in my class-I loved to play with their hair. And, now I run my fingers through my angel's hair. I love her tan skin, her brown eyes and her long toes. I am telling you God wrote her on my heart in the details. A lot of what God preprogrammed in me makes so much sense now that she is in my life.

A year ago today, August 22nd, 2009 I walked out of the Fryazino orphanage outside of Moscow Russia with my mother and my daughter Ariana Elle. At first when we came to get her she was excited to have the attention... to get dressed up and have all the cameras flashing... to have all the caregivers hugging her. When we went to climb into the car she was so incredibly indescribably terrified. She clearly thought the car was going to kill her- she was that that determined to get out of the car- making that much noise-that terrified. It took a long long time in the car to get her to lift her head out of my chest and peek out the window...

that set the stage for our whole journey... it all takes time.
Ariana needs to warm up to anything new. Once she feels secure she is fearless, but in all new things there is a journey. I will say that day care and babysitters have never been in that category. That is one dance she knows by heart. She "gets" being left. She knows how to charm the caregivers. She knows the rules of that particular game and she is stunned by the kids who cry and don't get in trouble for it. For the most part I rarely leave her with anyone but our family or her Nana. She did spend sometime at our school Day Care last spring, and recently she and Aidan stayed with the girls down the street, but that is about it.

The first few months Ariana had me all the time (and a lot of Ian) to herself while the boys went to school. I saw lots of progress. During the spring, when I had to go back to work-Ian moved to Miami for his new job and attention was sparse, I saw her stagnate. That transition from our Tampa life to our Ft. Lauderdale life wasn't the best for her. I would describe it as wasted time, not a step backwards. But over the summer I have started to see the progress again. Now that the boys are all headed back to school, I think Ariana will be blessed by the one on one time. I have even signed us up for a mommy and me gymnastics class to get her acquainted with the gym and we are part of a moms play group.

Ariana loves:
*her family, especially her daddy and Aidan
*her Nana- she even asks for her- they have a special bond from their time in Moscow together
*to swim
*to read books
*to go for walks
*junk food
*anything I am eating
*dolls
*Dora and Diego
*baths
*playgrounds
*animals
*to wash dishes in the sink and help me clean house
*makeup and putting it on carpets and walls
*art projects of all kinds from paint and markers to crafts
*shoes
*mommy saying how pretty she is

Ariana doesn't like:
*being different/not having exactly what someone else has- she hates that her car seat is different from Aidan's, she has to have whatever you have on your plate so she often has a smorgasbord, what ever Aidan is wearing or playing she must have one too..
*Being put to bed
*that we can't always understand her
*waiting
*not getting what she wants when she wants it
*that she shouldn't brush her own hair
*me taking something from her
*wearing bows or ponytails for more than an hour

Ariana is:
*adorable
*always surprising me with how smart she is
*observant
*loud
*charming
*cautious
*loving
*careful
*curious
*prissy
*DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA
*my angel
*patient- she puts up with our chaos and messyness so well. She has really learned to just go with the flow most of the time...


I wanted to post this now while it is on my heart. Ariana is off on a bike ride with Aidan and daddy. They were going to the church and then on to the park... I want to get some photos of her today- I am hoping to put the same dress on her she wore a year ago to mark how she has grown. So that post will come tonight along with how we celebrated the day!!