Favorite Photo Friday

One thing I have done every year since I started teaching 20 years ago, is raise monarchs from eggs to butterflies in my classroom. Plant some milkweed and they will come. Ariana really got into it with me this year. We had over 50 caterpillars eating up our milkweed. When they get big enough I let the kids hold them. Ariana was brave, curious and extremely gentle. She could spend hours upon hours watching them munch and crawl. Aidan also got into it, but he was waiting for them to change. Every morning he was disappointed they weren't butterflies yet. Ahhh- patience. Such a horribly frustrating life lesson.

In my deep desire to be proactive and organized, I have already ordered the kid's Halloween costumes. They are really really really into dress up right now, so I went all out. I figure they wear the heck out of every costume we have so I will get my money's worth. We picked them out and placed our order and then Aidan ran to the door to see if it was here yet. He went to the door six times that day. He woke up the next morning and ran to the front door. Now, every time the door bell rings he screams: "MY COSTUME!!". And Ian thinks he is going to be able to keep him out of it until Halloween. (yah. Good Luck) Ariana picked out a fairy costume. I wanted her to be a flower, but I put 3 photos in front of her and she kept picking the same one. A pink fairy. Aidan settled on an astronaut with all the trimmings including an inflatable space shuttle.

You just have to love the poser.
Can you find Aidan in the ball pit??

Ariana was dancing around like a monkey.

Then it was silly face time!

A year ago today I stood in Russia in a courtroom and said, "I support my husband in HIS decision to adopt." Hmmm. The first of many sacrafices for my darling daughter. Fortunately for us, the judge did proclaim us new parents and we began the 11 day wait for it to really be official. The day the appeal period was over and we actually went to pick up our daughter (well my mother and I did) was August 22nd.

This time last year Russia was defending a neighboring country that had been invaded and President Bush was speaking very negatively about Russia's role in the event. Talk about a challenging time to be adopting!

Who knew how much our lives would change over the following year. Not me for sure. I had plans to be back in the classroom by October and resume the juggle of my life. In the end, I didn't go back until January and even then we were plagued by random illness that took us out. (chicken pox and hep A) And to top it off Ian changed jobs and we moved to Ft. Lauderdale- leaving behind the only home my kids had ever really known.

Yesterday my team went back to school to prepare for a new school year. A chunk of my heart is definately with them. I really do find my bliss teaching and the only perk of my kids getting older will be my return to teaching. In the mean time, I am learning to adjust to being an at home mommy again. This would be so much more fun if I were Mrs. Brady and Alice was in my kitchen all day long. (or in my house she would be in the laundry room all day long!) Playing with the kids is the fun part- but cleaning up the same floor (counter..table...window...) for the tenth time that day lacks any sense of fulfillment doesn't it.

Hats off to all the mommies out there.

Key West Family Time

My kids and thier solitary cousin on my side.

Ragan is seriously the cutest, sweetest kid in the world. Shh... don't tell my own kids I said that. I am supposed to be partial aren't I? It is such a shame that I live so far away and get to have such little time with her. She is genuinely the kindest person with an amazing smile.
This is my brother. My only sibling. And his wife, Sandra who secretly must have a wonderwoman cape. She owns and runs her own business and keeps a home to her very particular standards and she has managed to raise such a beautiful girl all while putting up with my brother- who by the way I can witness is a pain in the behind quite often. God Bless Her.


We all went to Key West last week and had a fabulous time. They were so patient having to put up with 2 preschooler's schedules. Traveling with little ones can be such a challenge when they need to eat regularly and get sleep or they become so fussy and willful. It was Hot with a capital H. But Fun with a captital F. Now I can say I have been.

We also made my first trip to the Ft. Lauderdale beach. I should encourage everyone to support the local tourism, but personally I think you should all pass. It isn't even in my top 10 beaches. Although it doesn't have seeweed or oil clumps of tar on it. It is clean.

Happy Anniversary Honey

It has been a wonderful 17 years.

Not always perfect.
Not always predictable.

But always wonderful because I was with you.

This is the Day God Has Made

Reflections on our last day with her: June 19, 2008



It just couldn't have been more magical and perfect. It was the day we needed to leave with.



When we got there Hope was outside on the playground with ALL of the orphanage. Not only was she walking (remember she wasn't supposed to be able to) but she was climbing up the steps, sitting down, sliding to a care giver and walking back to the steps. She was taking turns with a friend. Then she saw us and RAN as best as she could across the uneven ground. It was slow and wobbly but it was a great run for the terrain. (Forrest)



We stayed and played for a short bit. She looked like such a super star in comparison to all of the many needs of the orphans. So many had clear FASD. Small, hard to look at, heads. Drooling, unable to sit up, some almost comatose.. We played with her and her friends. And then we had to take her on her first trip. So the caregivers took her inside, changed her and brought her to the nurse who would go with us.



That was the day we took her passport photo. What a great experience! She rode in a car. This couldn't have been her first ride. She got from the hospital there some how. She was comfortable sitting in the caregivers lap and riding to the strip center. Shocking given how the day we left with her in August she would NOT get in that car. She held onto the door for dear life and screamed like I had never heard before. She really did think she was dying the day we took her away. That day she buried her face in my chest and wept for an hour. Poor girl!But on this first ride, in her nurses' arms she was happy to look around and take it all in. She is still very very observant and very good at copying. I was teaching Aidan how to make an A yesterday and I look over and she has made one! She is two!!! (Always off the charts on fine motor development. From moment one this has been a huge gift- but making an A isn't just picking up a small bead-- it is visual recognition, following a series of of steps after retaining the information- muscle control- eye/hand coordination... writing is actually a complex action...soap box intermission: I love Handwriting without tears. They have a home version if you need remediation or have a preschooler.)
Back to the story: Ariana hated sitting on the chair for the photo. Even with the nurse holding her she was TERRIFIED. I think she was waiting for the shots to come. It had to resemble the hospital with all the bright lights...But when we went outside to wait she whipped her head side to side taking in everything from the people to the dogs and birds.... The cars, the shopping carts and strollers being pushed....She was in awe of this new world she had never seen. She mostly wanted Ian to hold her. I think being such a large guy (he is 6'4") she could not only see better, but his arms certainly feel safe. It was another great sign. She wouldn't always withdraw in a strange situation. If she trusted she would learn and grow.



When we got back she was exhausted. Her groupa had already napped and she had so much to process. She changed and fell fast asleep. We went out to eat. We brought back McDonalds for the whole group teachers and the director. They didn't want me to but I insisted. I am a teacher and I love when parents bring in lunch from the "outside". Clearly her caregivers did too!!! I was lucky enough to then sit in the play area and play with her groupa while she finished sleeping. We sang songs, and did finger plays. It was so fun to hug and love on them. I knew they all had families. But I also knew those families would rest better knowing someone was making their son/daughter giggle that day . That they had such joy. I know I would!!



Yes, well good intentions you know! Hope(Ariana's name then) woke up and the caregiver brought her into the groupa. She took one look at me with the others climbing all over me and it was instant betrayal. I hopped up knowing instantly that I had to show her how I would drop everything for her. That she was my light. Oh how she rejected me. She didn't want me to hold her. I still took her. She arched away and looked away. I sat her down to feed her and she refused to eat.. Then Ian walked in with the translator. She grinned. Here was the man who had not betrayed her. He had loyally waited for just her. She reached for him and he smiled and picked her up. He said Papa and for the first time she spoke a recognizable word to us "papa!".



Well, that is all it took. She should have asked for diamonds and a Porche at that moment. They would have been hers. There would be no separating the two of them. No separating us- a new family. In that instant I felt as protective as a mother bear. In that instant tears filled my eyes and as much as I would have stepped in front of a bus for my boys I would have done the same for her. She became my child and I her mother forever.



We went outside to walk and push her. She needed us alone some more and we need to revel in our day.



We had a daughter.



We had our peace.



Life had turned a corner and it would never be the same again. She belonged with us as much as the sun belongs in the sky.



Were we still nervous about what that meant? yep.

I was also nervous about becoming pregnant with Aidan. I was old. I had the amnio to make sure he was ok. No, we couldn't abort him if anything had been wrong, but what we could do was make sure every test was run and the doctors had ALL of the information possible to give him the best start in life. There were going to be no surprises. I needed to be mentally prepared. I was terrified that getting pregnant so old would be a mistake for Corbin and Collin. I was going to make a choice that would forever change their lives. That new baby boy would take my time and money from them. (sound familiar!)


So, yes we ended that day wondering what the future held. But what we knew from that moment forward was that whatever the future did hold- it would include her.

That was definitely the kind of day we needed to say good bye with.



It was exactly 50 horrible days long. The wait I mean. 50 days I had to endure until I was back to her. I can't expect anyone other than a IAP to understand what those 50 days with your child on the other side of the earth in an orphanage was like.



If anyone thinks the wait for a referral is bad, they have no idea until they do the court trip wait. Both are ugly parts of adoption. But the second was my worst. Fortunately, through the power of the Internet I met others who were adopting from Fryazino and when they went for their court dates they took photos of her and sent them to me via email (acutally, they took my specific directions to her groupa door and her name to the caregivers and they took her photos for us as those parents could not go in the room) . That really did help.



The next day was Friday June 20th. It was our 16th anniversary, the date of our medical exam and the first day of our wait. It was SOO hard to be right there in Moscow but unable to make the long drive out to Fryazino AND get our medical and do the notarizing we needed to do.



But we had our Thursday to hold on to and to cherish. We had lots of photos and videos of her. We were ready to show our boys their sister and start preparing them for her arrival.



With in the week there were photos of her all around our home right next to our sons. She already belonged.



Today she calls me mama and Ian daddy. She loves us. I am sure of it. She expects comfort from me and she is a happy girl. We have dreams and plans for her just as we do all of our kids. I love that I get to share her life with her. I love that she doesn't have to have my genetic make up. I LOVE that she has a tiny butt and didn't get the Dowdy butt gene. I love her super curly hair. Hair that I used to pay 100s of dollars for and with in days it was straight again. I have even had students give me locks of their curls- that is how much God put a love of curls on my heart. To the T she was everything I ever dreamt of in a daughter. From being tiny to being so insanely girly. And Independent at the same time. I have known her in my heart for years. From the time I was 9 I thought she would come from China.. but I was heading in the wrong direction. The child God drew on my heart first and strongest was to the East. He knew it would take a deep rooted need to get from 3 sons and a tight budget to the leap of faith it meant to travel to her and bring her home.



And He rewards the faithful!