Two Posts in One Day?!?

Well, for posterity I need to reflect on some new events. Earlier today I posted about feeling like we had broken down a wall. Actually, a better way to describe it would be to say that we had peeled back a layer of the Ariana Onion. And, I think I have confirmation. Tonight she climbed into my lap multiple times and leaned back in snuggle position and sucked her thumb! Like being in my arms was a safe/comforting place to be. Then, after about an hour of playing-snuggling-play more-snuggle- more, she slapped me in the face. Actually, she took her hand and stroked down the center. She did not hit hard, but it wasn't gentle either. And, if I missed the intent, she then pointed her finger at me, scrunched up her face in an angry look and yelled at me in Russian. It became part of the routine. She would snuggle and then sit up and slap me down and give it to me in Russian baby babble. I would take her hand and stroke my face with hers and say "gentle". Then, I would stroke her face with mine and say "gentle". I don't think I have seen the last of it. I think it is part of the new onion layer. I don't think that it is a sign she is not attached. I think it is a sign that we are moving forward, and now she is testing some of her theories. I don't think she is really angry, so it is easy to stay calm and and continue the 'gentle' routine.

Interestingly, Ariana spent an hour and a half in the baby room Monday and another child was crying VERY loudly. She looked at them with what I suspect was the same scrunched up angry face, she pointed her finger at her, and she yelled at them in Russian. Then- get this- she spit quickly 2 times at them! Like ptew, ptew. She was obviously imitating something she had seen happen over and over to a child who was crying loudly. No wonder the orphanage of 98 kids was silent day in and day out.

Put the two incidents together and it makes my stomach churn. Looks like we have more memories to deal with than I was aware of. It is a testament to a parent's love, a child's resilience and God's grace that these babies grow up and do so well in life.

So, it looks like it is time to deal with some of her past experiences. Welcome to the next layer to love.