I wish everyone out there an amazing mother's day. Especially those who joined me in motherhood this past year as an adoptive parent. I have to say, all throughout my adoption journey I was worried. I didn't know if I was doing the right thing for the boys the Lord had already given me. Many times that fear almost took over. But in the instance that I thought of giving up my dream of parenting a daughter, a sick feeling took over and I just knew that I couldn't give up. Just the thought of choosing to stand still left this enormous ache in my chest. Quite literally, my chest would tense up as if a huge piece was being ripped out. It felt much like an intense grief so unbearable that I HAD to move forward. Almost a year later from when I met Ariana I can only speak of the joys of parenting a daughter. Thank God himself that he put in me such a huge huge need/longing/knowing (or whatever it was) for my baby girl. I have given birth three times to ten pound baby boys (yep naturally). Two of those births could have killed me and all the pregnancies were quite yucky. BUT, hands down, that was so so so much easier than adoption. I would love to have another little girl in our lives, but the experience it took to get to her is such a deterant I just don't see that happening again in our future. Just the thought of starting again with a homestudy churns my stomache- and that was the easy part.
But I will say that God has surpased my wildest expectations. Parenting a daughter IS that wonderful. It is even more of the gift than I ever thought it would be. It is funny that the boys have my DNA becasue most of the time they are foreigners to me. What exactly are they thinking?? On the other hand, I totally GET Ariana! And yes, dear friends, the love of shoes is in fact linked to the X chromosome. I really see so much of myself in Ariana. Now, she is a creature that I can understand.
I love my boys smiles and their willingness to get dirty.I love how easy going my guys are and how dressing them in the morning is a three second task as nothing needs to match. Infact it doesn't even need to be clean in their opinion. I love my daughters passion for dress up. I love my little boy's innocent smile. And, my daughter's smile after all she has endured is the most priceless gift I can imagine. I love the relationship Ariana and Aidan have. She is as much a gift to him as he is to her. Today she was pointing and counting matrushkah dolls- something Aidan is learning at school. He comes home and hugs her and kisses her before he does anything else. He grabs her by the hand and drags her around. He treasures her.
Just to paint a fair picture for any PAPs out there. Boys are rough. Think of a basket of puppies and you begin to understand what having sons is like.. they love to wrestle, and be rough. They love to destroy things- and if it is your favorite pair of shoes or vase-forget about it, it WILL be the victim... And, girls... they whine! DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA. It is all such drama. Buy ear plugs! It won't bring you silence, but it will dampen the shrill so you can think straight and be rational. :)
Enjoy the slide show!
Michelle
4 comments:
Yeah finally some photos! I feel like I have been waiting for a sighting of Brad and Angelina!!!!!! Ana looks so beautiful! I love to hear about Aidan and his love for her. Jake and Ava have a close bond as well. It just makes my heart smile to think of it.Ana do not worry about the hair.What happens next is you just get more of it going in a thousand different directions! You should see me this morning !!!!I will spare you the photos!
Hugs,
Nic
Okay, that seriously cannot even be the same child you brought home. I doubt you see it because you're with her every day, but I am telling you, she does.not.look.like.the.same.child. There is so much life in that little smile that wasn't there before, it's unreal the difference!
Okay, yes, girl might need some hair help, but I really think when it thickens up it will be so gorgeous. You may battle it throughout her childhood, but I think she's going to love it as a teen, who wouldn't kill for all those curls... I know I would! I just have bumpy hair (not really waves, not really straight!)
Wow! This post was exactly, what I needed to hear during our own adoption journey For a little girl. I worry so much about my doing the right thing, or if my 3 sons is what it is for me..but there is just this deeper yearning, for adding another child, especially my girl! Glad that it has worked out so beautifully for you, and with such a beautiful addition. God Bless.
Oh, how I can not wait for the day when Cara and I get to do "makeup"! Ana looks incredible - she has really changed and that smile just sparkles now. I, too felt so strongly about adding a girl to our family and we were just about to start the process again when I got pregnant. Love to hear how much you love being a Mom to a girly girl :)
Post a Comment